Eating My Elephant..One Big Bite at a Time!!

In the midst of all the bio-medical interventions we are pursuing in order to recover our son, God has led us to yet another source that I find very intriguing.  Per the suggestion of our son's naturopath I picked up the GAPS book (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) , and wow, all I can say is "I see the light"!!!!  This book clearly delineates all the health issues that my son has been battling with: yeast and bacteria overgrowth, casein and gluten peptides, allergies not to mention my own issues with yeast infections, chronic illness, allergies, etc  The basic premise of the book is that poor gut health can cause all these issues because food is not being properly processed/digested,etc.  The book outlines a program to restore a person to full health with no medicine, just good clean wholesome food.  The only challenge with this is that will mean even more time in the kitchen than before and more food restrictions.  Now our family will be grain free/starch free/and refined sugar free as well.  Additionally,  I will be culturing yogurt and kefir, making sauerkraut, soaking nuts, etc. to be sure that food will be able to be properly absorbed.  For my type A personality, this is a lot to take on.  Then there is the added stress of knowing that this can be that final puzzle piece I am missing to fully recover my son and the stress is really starting to mount.  Thankfully, there is a saving grace to this giant elephant that has now died in our kitchen.  There are resources (lots and lot of them) such as the GAPS Yahoo Group, Tribal Mamas, the book the GAPS Guide,  all to direct me in baby steps towards our goal.
With each step I take, I know I am one step closer, and my family is closer to healing and fully restored health. My home is grain free now (aside from popcorn kernals and brown rice pasta (which will keep), we are whittling our pantry supplies down to only the essentials, I have our entire family taking cod liver oil now,  I have my first batch of sauerkraut fermenting in our cupboard, and I bought a yogurt maker to culture our own dairy.
For some reason this takes me back to my senior year of college.  It was my first semester and I was taking 21 units.  To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.  One night I called my mom crying on the phone trying to figure out how I could study for my finals and complete my (several) term papers at the same time.  She stopped and prayed with me, but ended our conversation with a question.  The question was: "Charise, how do you eat an elephant?".  Since I don't regularly eat elephants I was befuddled.  And so I said, "I don't know." To this my mom responded, "One bite at a time".  From this lesson I learned that looking at the whole picture would cause this feeling of being overwhelmed.  But if I just focused on the one project at hand, complete it, and then move onto the next project, it wasn't so daunting.  It is this lesson that I am using to get me through the GAPS program.  I am focusing on one project/food, etc. at a time, and I am slowly seeing my dead elephant disappear in my kitchen.  All that is now remaining is a the skeleton and a few tendons and ligaments.  Perhaps that will be my next batch of broth.  :)

I am NOT afraid!!

Lately I have been battling fear, mostly in regards to our son who is dealing with some autism like symptoms.  On my last post, our son was accidentally given Cheerios and we noticed some huge set-backs as a result.  Since that time we have had several tests run which confirmed some of our suspicions.  First, our son has a serve reaction to casein and gluten, so much so, that it causes his body to produce a form of morphine and causes him to act mildly retarded.  The thought that casein and gluten could cause that much damage in our son is overwhelming to say the least.  We also found he is allergic to oats, cashews, walnuts, safflower, sunflower, garlic, soy and cheese.  Obviously the oat allergy helped us to understand why his body responds the way it does to Cheerios.  Add to this that our son tested high to HPHPA (an intestinal bacteria, AKA Clostridia, that causes aggression and defiance) and yeast (which causes language issues) and we have a recipe for disaster.  With so many allergies and food sensitivities we are really restricted on eating-out with our son.  Anything that he consumes can contain an ingredient that his body reacts to, and often those ingredients do not need to be disclosed if there is a "trace" amount.  This has created extra work for me as I have had to make everything at home for him:  ketchup, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, chicken stock, spaghetti sauce, almond milk, or any other item that could have a potential contaminate.
We do have an amazing doctor who we are so thankful for.  He is directing us on the tests to have run on our son, giving prescriptions for medications to eliminate the yeast and bacteria, helping us with diet modifications and supplementation, etc.  With each step we take we notice our son is coming back to us.  This is no coincidence.  God has laid the way for us to embark on this adventure even before we suspected autism.  He put it on our hearts not to vaccinate our son, he lead us to a DAN! doctor as our pediatrician (before our son was born), and he also gave us 10 hours of in-home ABA therapy less than a month after we called the Regional Center (which is completely unheard of these days).  I have seen God move, and I am thankful!!!
Despite the fact that I have seen God's hand in this journey, I still can't help but fear. The many "what ifs" that Satan plagues me with are overwhelming at times and I find myself "caving in".  It comforts me to know that I am not alone on this journey to trust God.  In the Bible there are a plethora of passages on fear. In fact, as we come to Christmas I can't help but think of the shepherds in Bethlehem the night Christ was born.  For some reason this passage in Luke 2:10 has been dear to my heart these days.  "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.  For there is born to you this day in the city of David, a savior, who is Christ the Lord."  Oh, how i need that savior.  I need Him to save me from my sins, from the evil one who causes me to question His greatness and goodness, to save my son from the effects of autism, to save my marriage from the stresses that it incurs, etc. So much to be saved from, and yet, there is immense power in that tiny baby lying in the manger.  Power to conquer death, to offer eternal life to all who believe, to heal, and so much more.   God, give me faith and remind me that I have no reason to fear!!!

Learning to Walk in Faith

Our son is now 20 months old and he has been recently identified as being developmentally delayed primarily in communication.  My husband and I started teaching our son sign language at around 4 months and by 9 months he was signing his needs consistently.  So to some degree our son has been able to communicate his wants and needs to us since that time. He also was very advanced in his gross motor skills and we had never a worry in that department.  
In regards to speech, he started saying "mama" and "dada" at around 6 months. We would hear him from his crib calling for my husband and I early in the morning on a consistent basis.
At around 14-15 months we started noticing that he was losing his signs instead of gaining them.  We initially thought that he was just being difficult because he appeared to be dealing with sleep issues as a result of teething.  But we are now thinking that may have not been the case.
He had his regular check up at 18 months and was still showing advancement in all areas aside from speech.  Our pediatrician was not alarmed at the time, and suggested we wait until 20 months to recheck the issue.  By 20 months he stopped signing everything aside from the word "more" and had started throwing wicked tantrums that would last for long periods of time.  Additionally, he no longer said "mama" and "dada" and just started saying "m" and "d".  It was as though he had lost all of the speech that he had gained and also lost his ability to understand speech.    I knew something was wrong and made another appointment with the pediatrician who suggested we do an elimination diet and also ordered some lab work to check for food allergies.  
We had  started to do an elimination diet a few months prior to all of this due to severe eczema on our son's legs.  We initially started with eliminating gluten and casein.  Since we were on the gluten free diet we purchased more gluten free products (which contain mostly corn) and noticed that our son's eczema had now spread to his back.  As a result we eliminated corn (and then eggs) from his diet about a week ago..  We noticed that the eczema was completely gone from his back, and it was also now disappearing from his legs.  Additionally we noticed an incredible difference in behavior.  Suddenly he was able to: follow directions, do puzzles, ride his push toys outside, signed new signs that he not signed before, sat and listened to stories, was far less active, and even said his first word.   Mind you, these were all skills I had been working on with him for months and was not successful in getting him to do any of these things until a few days ago.  He was suddenly a typical toddler!!!!  It was a remarkable advancement in less than a week's period of time.
Both Thursday and Friday  I went to church for two separate functions and provided an alternative snack for our son and specifically instructed the ladies not to give our son anything but what I packed for him. Unfortunately, they did not follow my directions and gave our son Cheerios.  He was a nightmare yesterday.  He slept horribly, has been throwing chronic tantrums over everything, stopped signing again, seemed to have forgotten everything he had learned the day before, understood nothing I said, and was severely constipated. .

Obviously, I am convinced that my son has some severe allergies to certain foods, and it really scares me.  It is not the allergy itself that concerns me, but the damage that could be done if someone innocently gives our son Cheerios or the like  I am thankful that I know what the issue is now, but realize that I will have to lean on God more to protect my son when he is not in my care.  Normally that would not be an issue for me, but now it will be.  Perhaps God is using this opportunity to teach me to give my son to him on a daily basis as well as to teach me to lean on Him for the wisdom I need to help our son be all that God intends for him to be.  In any case, I am learning to walk in faith, and I am sure once this is all said and done that I will come out being richer for the experience.

Of the importance of deep friendships..

Last night I had the privilege of getting together with some very close girlfriends that I have known for more than 20 years.  All of us met in a Bible study at Mariners which deeply impacted all of us and drew us together.  We have made it a priority to get together once every three months.  Sometimes we struggle to find the time because of our many commitments. However, I think that all of us would agree that when we do get together, it's always deep and every one of us walks away feeling refreshed.  I truly think this is the living out of what the body of Christ is to be.  We are able to meet together, open our hearts, share ours successes and our failures, challenge one another to deeper spirituality, and pray over one another.  It's complete transparency at it's finest.

I also find that when I meet with these women that somehow I am in the presence of God.  It's not that they are perfect, or even super spiritual, it's just this immense feeling of love and acceptance that I imagine I would feel in the presence of Christ.  There is no need to put on pretenses.  I can just be me, imperfections and all and know that I am warmly embraced.

I am an only child, and have been disowned by my parents, and thus these women have filled in a very painful gap for me.  And in many respects,  they have been better for me than my own family.  All their children call me Auntie, and my son will call all of them Auntie as well.  

God has given me a great gift in these women, and I can't imagine my life without them.  Thank you God for good friends.  

Of Baby Beach and The Energizer Bunny...

Today some women from our MOPS group (Mother's of Preschoolers) met at Baby Beach in Dana Point for a fun playdate.  I had my son all decked out in his cute swim trunks and diaper and even packed a nice lunch and a ton of new sand toys.  We left a little early to be sure we could get a good parking spot and also to assure a good place on the beach.  Much to my disappointment we utilized none of the extras that I had brought along.   I had imagined myself teaching my son to use a shovel and a pail, teaching him to how to  splash in the water, and enjoying a nice lunch on our towel after all our fun in the water and sand.  But that was not the case. 
Once we found our friends, we put our stuff down and then made our way to the water.  After about 15-20 minutes of running in and out of the water, my little guy decided that the water was no longer interesting, but playing "run away from mommy" was SO much more fun.  Mind you, my little guy is 18 months (started walking at 10 months) and so he's pretty fast. I spent the rest of the hour and half that we were there running back and forth chasing my toddler across the beach and trying to keep him from running all over everyone's towels, destroying sand castles, and stealing sand toys.  It was non-stop activity, much like the Energizer Bunny.  Please note that I am a Type A personality.  I like order, organization, schedules, etc.  But today was random chaos.  I smile saying this because much of life since having my son has taught me that not everything can be planned for.  There was no way of knowing that God would give me the Energizer Bunny for a baby, but today was pure evidence of God's incredible sense of humor.  I am glad I can smile, because in a sense, it shows that I am growing as a person. I am learning to not take myself too seriously, and allow God to teach me what He needs to teach me through my precious Energizer Bunny.  Thank you God.!  Seriously.... I mean it.  :)

Of Baby Binders and Dates...

Today my husband and I took some time off from parenting to enjoy some quality one on one time in LA. It was a long day.  So much preparation was required to be ready to leave and be sure that our babysitter had all she needed to do her job.   
One thing that I have found that has saved me a lot of time and frustration is to create a binder for my son that has all the important information that I want our babysitter to know as well as arm her on what to do in an emergency.  In my binder I have a schedule (which is also neatly posted on our refrigerator) and important notes that will be beneficial to our sitter in knowing how to best care for our little guy.  I also have emergency information in case something should happen to our son while in her care along with a copy of his insurance card.  Additionally, we have our custody information on who to contact should anything happen to my husband or myself.
Our binder also contains directions on infant CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver.   And finally, I have a daily log that includes all the foods he's eaten, how much liquids he's had to drink, how long of a nap he took,etc. 
So why do I put all of this in a binder?  Well, if there is an emergency, such as my son stops breathing, and our sitter suddenly has to take our son to the hospital, all she has to do is grab the binder.  it will remind her of what he ate for the day (in case of an allergic reaction), it has our contact information so she can contact us.  it also has a copy of my son's insurance card, and people to call if she is unable to contact us for any reason. Our Baby Binder is a  simple tool, but it has really made my life easier and even allowed me and my husband to enjoy a date or two.