Lately I have been battling fear, mostly in regards to our son who is dealing with some autism like symptoms. On my last post, our son was accidentally given Cheerios and we noticed some huge set-backs as a result. Since that time we have had several tests run which confirmed some of our suspicions. First, our son has a serve reaction to casein and gluten, so much so, that it causes his body to produce a form of morphine and causes him to act mildly retarded. The thought that casein and gluten could cause that much damage in our son is overwhelming to say the least. We also found he is allergic to oats, cashews, walnuts, safflower, sunflower, garlic, soy and cheese. Obviously the oat allergy helped us to understand why his body responds the way it does to Cheerios. Add to this that our son tested high to HPHPA (an intestinal bacteria, AKA Clostridia, that causes aggression and defiance) and yeast (which causes language issues) and we have a recipe for disaster. With so many allergies and food sensitivities we are really restricted on eating-out with our son. Anything that he consumes can contain an ingredient that his body reacts to, and often those ingredients do not need to be disclosed if there is a "trace" amount. This has created extra work for me as I have had to make everything at home for him: ketchup, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, chicken stock, spaghetti sauce, almond milk, or any other item that could have a potential contaminate.
We do have an amazing doctor who we are so thankful for. He is directing us on the tests to have run on our son, giving prescriptions for medications to eliminate the yeast and bacteria, helping us with diet modifications and supplementation, etc. With each step we take we notice our son is coming back to us. This is no coincidence. God has laid the way for us to embark on this adventure even before we suspected autism. He put it on our hearts not to vaccinate our son, he lead us to a DAN! doctor as our pediatrician (before our son was born), and he also gave us 10 hours of in-home ABA therapy less than a month after we called the Regional Center (which is completely unheard of these days). I have seen God move, and I am thankful!!!
Despite the fact that I have seen God's hand in this journey, I still can't help but fear. The many "what ifs" that Satan plagues me with are overwhelming at times and I find myself "caving in". It comforts me to know that I am not alone on this journey to trust God. In the Bible there are a plethora of passages on fear. In fact, as we come to Christmas I can't help but think of the shepherds in Bethlehem the night Christ was born. For some reason this passage in Luke 2:10 has been dear to my heart these days. "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David, a savior, who is Christ the Lord." Oh, how i need that savior. I need Him to save me from my sins, from the evil one who causes me to question His greatness and goodness, to save my son from the effects of autism, to save my marriage from the stresses that it incurs, etc. So much to be saved from, and yet, there is immense power in that tiny baby lying in the manger. Power to conquer death, to offer eternal life to all who believe, to heal, and so much more. God, give me faith and remind me that I have no reason to fear!!!
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